When You Choose to Be Grateful Though You're $15 Short

“I need $100 in three weeks!”

My eyelids fluttered, trying to register my 13-year-old’s intensity. 

“I really want $100 to take to the coin show. Can I do some odd jobs around the house to earn the money?”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t normally keep an extra $100 in reserve for possible coin show emergencies. 

I told him to put his goal on his vision board, imagine himself with the coins he wanted at the show, and to feel grateful — as if he already had the money. 

We started the next day with some deep cleaning in his bedroom, and I saw a potential first paying job for him: making a holder for his neckties. It was a place to start, and it fed my desire for order. I paid him a generous $5 for his time, as it was a pretty simple design. But it served its purpose, and he was happy to put a small dent in his goal.  

During our cleaning spree, we found a really nice building set he hadn’t used in ages, and we felt it was another idea for revenue. We posted it online, and it sold for $30.

The countdown for the coin show was speeding up . . .  but only $65 more to go.

He had recently made some beautiful snowshoes out of tree branches with my son-in-law, and the family had taken an afternoon to try them out. They were very unique, and they worked quite well, so we encouraged him to make some to sell. He was super pumped when he got a commission for the snowshoes, and he made $50 just days before the deadline.

Well . . . it was time for the show, and he hadn’t met his goal. But I was so proud of his positive attitude and the gratitude he felt for making $85 in such a short time.

His afternoon at the coin show turned out to be a great adventure with my son-in-law, and he came home bursting with news. There was a great variety of coins, the vendors were excited to see someone so young who loved collecting, and he made some really good purchases. His enthusiasm multiplied when he found the very coin he had posted on his vision board a couple months before. However, it was more money than he had left. He moved on to another booth, when the vendor of that coin called him back. This very kind man crossed out the list price of the coin and lowered it $15! My son had just enough to purchase his most coveted item.

This is the part I love the most. 

My son then told me, “Mom. Do you understand what that means? If you add the $15 that I should have had to pay for that coin to the $85 I earned, I still met my goal. I had $100 in time for the coin show.”

I feel like this tiny bit of truth is a tragically well-kept secret. To see that my 13-year-old had learned it so young made me so happy. 

Here’s the secret . . . our dreams and goals don’t always come the way we think they will. But  when we stay in a place of gratitude and belief, with God’s help, we will realize them. 

So what did my son do right? 

1. He imagined in his mind exactly what he wanted, how he would feel if he got it, and felt gratitude, as if it had already happened. (Pretending is an art. Just sayin’.)

2. He immediately moved forward with what he could do. He cleaned his room to clear out some physical space to receive what he desired.

3. He accepted opportunities to move toward the goal — even though it only started out with a $5 job.

4. He felt grateful for each step closer to his goal.

5. He was willing to be vulnerable and “put himself out there” to sell his own creation.

6. He worked hard.

7. When he got to the end and it seemed he hadn’t completely met his goal, he still showed gratitude for what he did accomplish.

8. When the $15 showed up differently, he recognized it, and his gratitude was overflowing.

Now it’s your turn. Set your goals high. Believe you can reach them. Dismiss doubt. Expect inspired ideas to come. Act on those ideas, and show gratitude for each step along the way that takes you there. 

That’s how it’s done. 

If you would like extra support to reach your goals, I’m only a click away.

Do You Trust the Master Navigator? You Can Choose

Have you ever established a goal, set your course, taken steps toward completion, and then watched it take a wacky detour? Yah. Me too. 

How did it turn out for you? How would you define the outcome . . . negative or positive? 

This happened to me recently. I was traveling two hours south for a business meeting, and I left early to be sure I arrived on time. I pulled up the GPS on my phone, typed in the exact address, and then I went along on my merry little way. 

In case you don’t know this about me . . . bad traffic has, at times, caused me some pretty intense anxiety. But I chose to entertain happy thoughts as I drove, listened to an uplifting podcast, and pressed forward. 

About an hour into the drive I received a loud notification that said, “Slow-down ahead. Your arrival time will be delayed 13 minutes.”

I thought, “That’s okay. It’ll be fine. I’ll choose to be calm and cheerful, and I’ve allowed enough time for unexpected delays.”

A couple minutes later, not yet having hit the traffic, a new notification went off. “Slow-down ahead. There is an alternate route that will save you 16 minutes. If you want to stay on your current route, press “dismiss”.

I may or may not have panicked for a few seconds. 

I think we’ve all learned that change can be hard. I was already familiar with the route I was currently pursuing and was comfortable there. I reminded myself that I had allotted extra time to be a little late, but I thought . . . what if the GPS is messed up? What if it directs me across some ridiculous, broken-up gravel road in the tulies somewhere? (That’s a story for another time.) My heart was racing, and I’m sure some wise-guy angel was playing the countdown Jeopardy song in my head. There was no time to waste. I had to decide. 

I clicked the “accept” button. 

I was re-routed to another freeway, onto a highway, and then miles down the road I merged back into my familiar path. I experienced zero slow-down during the entire trip. The GPS gave clear directions in a calm voice, and I arrived at my destination a full hour early. For real. 

Wow. What a ride. 

Because I arrived ahead of time, I took the opportunity to really ponder what had just happened. I saw a beautiful parallel for life. 

So here we go.

We each have a goal. More than one, I hope. And in order to achieve our aspirations, we have to be very clear at the onset about our final destination. What do we want our dreams accomplished to look like? This would be like the exact address I typed into my GPS. 

The next step is to create a general plan to get there. Sometimes my GPS gives me a few different routes designed to get me to the same location. So, in our finite minds, we choose a plan that will move us in the right direction to obtain our desires. 

Here’s the cool thing. It’s important to know the general direction of our destination, but we do not have to know all the steps. I was only familiar with a part of my path. The rest was in the hands of my GPS to take those last steps to get me to the correct address. The same thing is true for our goals. We just need the next step in moving toward them, but when we make the effort to take the steps that we do know, we prepare ourselves to receive further direction. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt. One clue at a time? And who doesn’t love a treasure hunt? Everyone needs some adventure in their lives, right?

Now it’s time for us to start moving. On my trip, I drove in the direction of my destination. I could have used the frontage road, taken the freeway, or traveled awhile on State Street, but no matter which option I chose, I was still progressing toward my meeting. 

This applies to goal setting as well. Because we may not know all the steps to finish it, we simply need to move toward our objective in the best way we know how. And we’ll get there. Eventually. 

As I traveled the long road, my GPS warned me of an upcoming slow-down. Isn’t it interesting that I had to make a choice? I could stay on my current path, enduring a snail’s pace for fifteen or more minutes, or I could trust my GPS to re-direct me without a decrease in speed. In that moment I took a chance, and my trip offered pleasant progression the whole time. 

The path to reach our goals provides the same kinds of opportunities. We can choose to stay tuned in to the “Master Navigator” (a.k.a. God or our Higher Power) to give us ideas, new steps to take, and alternate routes. We know in traffic, and also when we pursue our dreams, there may be speed traps, fatigue, accidents, distractions, traffic, and even angry drivers. But as we stay connected to the Master Navigator, He sees ahead, He knows what roadblocks we’ll hit, and He gives wise and inspired ideas to smooth out the journey. 

One more thing to consider — during my journey I was given the choice to stay on my current route, pressing “dismiss” or to accept the suggested change. 

We will receive many thoughts and inspired ideas to encourage and support as we pursue our goals. In those moments, we, too, have a choice. Do we trust the Master Navigator enough to heed His wisdom and counsel? Even when it takes us out of our comfort zones into unfamiliar territory? Or do we play it “safe” and do what we’ve always done?

Accept? Or dismiss? We have a choice . . .  

(Jeopardy music echoing in the background.)

What will you choose?

If you are ready to make some greater goals and see them obtained, I’d be happy to help you see it through.

Ready to Receive? Run for it!

Kids’ bedrooms. Redone. Fresh paint. New decor. Personalized new look. Fully prepped and completed . . . by whom? 

Not me!

My teenagers did it all themselves! We’ll discuss more about that miracle in another post, but I made an amazing observation during that couple of weeks’ process. While my kids both waited for the spectacular themed tapestries they had each selected for their own room (coming clear from China and less trackable), they ran to get everything else prepared to receive it. They both decluttered their rooms, let go of items that were unnecessary - but hard to part with, and dropped off unwanted items at the thrift shop. They chose their own colors and put a fresh coat of paint on their walls. Each piece of furniture was sanded and painted. They spray painted frames to match the anticipated tapestries and got them hung. As the delivery date was still uncertain, my daughter searched for clear thumbtacks and kept them in a pile on her nightstand to be at-the-ready when her tapestry arrived. 

I find it interesting that BOTH of their packages arrived weeks before the projected delivery dates online.

What Does Football Have to Do With It? 

My dad has always teased me, saying that I don’t know the difference between a football and a soccer ball. I took P.E. in school, so I’m familiar with all of the balls. Just sayin’. Even though Daddy likes to exaggerate sometimes, let’s just say that I have never been much of a sports fan. 

With that in mind, I learned a powerful lesson directly from a football analogy. 

I participate in a weekly Mastermind call, and a couple weeks ago one of the women members asked us to consider the job of a receiver on the football field. Thankfully, I’ve seen enough snippets of the game to understand what she was talking about. This is super cool in relation to getting your goals - so stay with me. 

The receiver’s job is to break away from all the players blocking him and run like crazy, poised and ready to catch the ball. When he first takes off, and even along the way, the quarterback hasn’t even thrown the ball to him yet. But the receiver does everything he can do to prepare to receive the ball that he just knows is going to come his way. When that ball shows up, he catches the ball (hopefully), and the play progresses. 

Now consider . . . if the receiver waited until the quarterback threw the ball to start running, he would not be in position to receive the throw. 

Isn’t that a fascinating principle? 

Get Ready, Get Set . . . 

Just like the receiver, (because in goal setting — we are the receiver) once we have set our goals, we have to prepare to receive them. 

How do we do that, you ask? 

We simply move forward on those things we do have control over that moves us in the direction of our goals. 

In one of my faith’s book of scripture it says, “Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.” (D.C. 123:17)

I love this! My kids did this very thing. They wished their tapestries could arrive the same day they ordered them, but I sincerely believe the process was sped up (instead of taking an additional month to arrive) because they cheerfully “ran for the ball, expecting it to smoothly land in their hands.” And it did. 

GO!

What goals have you set? Have you been sitting on the sidelines hoping something would happen? Or can you clearly see it in your mind and are ready to move? 

Decide what steps you can take to move toward your goal. Even if they seem insignificant (like collecting the thumbtacks to put the tapestry up), remember that every single step you take sends a message to the universe that you are ready to receive the thing that you desire.

You’ve got this. Now is the time. 

Just RUN for it! 

If you’re ready to ‘go the distance,’ I’m willing to run with you.

Kindness: How Small and Simple Actually Matter

Many years ago my parents’ car broke down four hours from home. Having just left an Atlanta Braves’ game, they had barely enough cash left over to pay the tow truck driver. But nothing else. 

They looked everywhere for a hotel, but Atlanta had nothing to offer. This was a time when most places required payment in cash only. They were pretty nervous. 

They finally happened upon a location where the owner told them her place was full, but when she saw the predicament they were in with my two younger brothers in tow, she made an outrageous offer. She already had plans to stay with her daughter that night, leaving her own apartment empty . . . so she boldly invited these strangers (my family) to stay the night in her home, no charge. 

What kind of a person does that?

Joseph Wirthlin once said:

“Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women . . .  Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.”

Three Kinds of Kindness

There are so many aspects of kindness, but I just want to focus on three.

• Being kind by giving others the benefit of the doubt - not being easily offended

• Being kind by withholding criticism

• Being kind when others are different than us

Can You Just Give Me the Benefit of the Doubt?

Let’s start with the first one. 

About a decade ago I was in the front room ironing a new shirt while packing for an event. To my horror, the fabric was “allergic” to high heat, and the iron immediately left its imprint. At this very moment, a new friend walked into our home, saw the suitcase, and asked where I was headed. I told her I was speaking at a women’s event, and I showed her my ruined shirt. She said, “You’re speaking at a women’s event? What is the topic? Homemaking 101?”

I stared at her. We had just met, and this was the first thing she had to say to me? Her face went totally red, and my embarrassment quickly erupted into laughter. Has something ever popped out of your mouth that you desperately wish you could retract? I am so grateful that I was not offended by my first impression, as we have since become dear friends. 

Marvin Ashton shared, “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is . . . having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped.”

Truly we are kind when we give others the benefit of the doubt and choose not to be easily offended. 

If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . . 

Number Two. Being kind by withholding criticism. 

I recently read about a mother who complained about her teenage son’s dirty bedroom. She listed all the disgusting elements of his four-walled catastrophe, and ended with a huge sigh. Her ninety-nine-year-old mother in-law suggested that maybe she should look up and tell her son how nice the ceiling looked.

This is good advice for all of us. I’m afraid I’ve been guilty of walking into one of my teenager’s rooms and commenting on everything that is not done instead of acknowledging and thanking them for what they already accomplished. 

I appreciate what Marvin Ashton said: “Let us open our arms to each other, accept each other for who we are, assume everyone is doing the best he or she can, and look for ways to leave quiet messages of love and encouragement instead of being destructive and bashing.”

Kindness definitely comes through more clearly when we withhold criticism. 

Celebrating our Differences

And finally. Number three. Being kind when others are different than us.

One of my daughters has blue hair. And I have a son-in-law with long hair, braids, and sometimes a man bun. 

Would I personally dye my hair blue? I would not. If I were a man would I wear a man bun? Most likely not. So what brings us joy looks different. Their hairstyles have brought them far more confidence than I’ve seen in former years. I’m confident in my brown hair. It’s okay that we are different.

In another example, my friend’s car got stuck in the snow. I couldn’t get her out, so I waited with her until help arrived. A number of cars passed by without pulling over, and then two rough looking men, covered in tattoos, stopped for us. I’m pretty conservative in my looks . . .  so again . . . we were different, but these were the nicest, friendliest, and most amazing men. They showed an inordinate amount of kindness to us in our need. 

Audre Lorde said, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”

We can be kind when there are differences. 

Choosing Kindness

It is all a choice. We can choose kindness by giving others the benefit of the doubt. We can be kind by withholding criticism. And again, we can definitely be kind in small and simple ways when others are different than us. Small and simple acts of kindness are contagious, and don’t you think it would be wonderful if it became an epidemic in our world today?

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” Desmond Tutu

Neal Maxwell once said, “We can decide daily, or in an instant, in seemingly little things, whether we respond with a smile instead of a scowl, or whether we give warm praise instead of exhibiting icy indifference. Each response matters in its small moment.”

So perhaps you and I, in each one of our own small moments, can respond with kindness. And I sincerely believe that in the end, it really does matter.  

For more support in self-improvement and goal setting, I’m here to help.

Can You REALLY Clear Your Head Through Cleaning?

“Want to hear something that’ll either make you smile or cry?”

Who asks a question at such a moment? Seriously.

I had just left the airport, saying goodbye to my eighteen-year-old son who was leaving on a two-year mission trip. I held it all together at the airport. In fact, I was pretty proud of myself. I’m not one who is inclined to a lot of emotion, but I kinda like the kid. And two years is a long time for him to be away.

As I sat in McDonald’s drive-thru (gross) for my husband to fill the void with a rubbery egg and cheese McMuffin, I received that provoking text.

You know that invisible force field we put around ourselves . . .? The one that help us keep up a delusional facade that we’re okay? The one that . . . if it has even one minuscule opening . . . it completely comes down? Yah. That one. 

That rotten little text from my unsuspecting daughter obliterated my wall in less than a millisecond. The floodgates opened, and my forty-eight year reservoir of tears came rushing forth with unbelievable force. Embarrassed to be in the drive-thru and crying, I had to hide behind my dark glasses and pretend I was interested in something out the passenger side window. 

This was only the beginning. When my husband dropped me back home and left for work, I was the only one in the entire house. I’m not sure that has happened since my first child was born, almost 30 years ago. I laughed the funniest, loudest, most heartfelt happy tears I’ve ever experienced. I was overwhelmed with joy by my son’s decision to dedicate two years of his life to God. Yes, I will miss him. But the tears really were just built up emotion and love that had nowhere to go but out through my tear ducts. And come they did. For a full thirty minutes. That’s a really long time for someone who doesn’t cry. 

And then . . . I was done. 

Feelings of relief and calm washed over me, and I felt more like myself again. Still tender . . . but more like a normal me instead of the tear-stained, stuffy nosed, laughing/crying me from moments before. 

Now what? 

I said a quick prayer for direction, “Okay God. I’m done crying. I’m all yours. What would Thou have me do?”

Immediately the words came into my mind, “Clean the house.”

What was that?

“Clean the house.”

Rather startled, but willing to be obedient, I tackled my long-neglected home. The house that had patiently awaited attention for a couple months while we packed the two youngest for a 5-week pageant trip, moved a daughter out with roommates, moved another daughter and recently-graduated husband out for his new job, and now this son for his two-year adventure.

I devoted every minute for the rest of the day organizing, scrubbing, washing, cleaning, and shining our home. I then made a list of every deep cleaning project that still needed to be completed, and I assigned myself one thing per day for the next month. I have made tremendous progress over the last three weeks, and I feel wonderful!

Yes. I like a clean house. Yes. I like to be organized. Yes. It’s been very rewarding. But what has actually affected me the most is what it has done for my mind. My mind is finally clear again!

I have had the mental and emotional space to start dreaming again. To set new goals. To make a new chore chart for the family. To write. To create a new event. To update my website.  www.stephaniefrancom.com To tweak my Instagram account. @stephaniefrancom I literally went from chaos and confusion to clear and calm. All from cleaning my house. 

God’s message to me that day was timely. In His omniscient understanding, He took my despair and heartache and traded it for purpose and peace. Just because He can. 

What little shelf or drawer or corner could you put in order today to start moving into that refreshing place of peace? 

If you want to get your life in order, I can help.