Change

A Single Eyelash: Remove the Misery

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A single eyelash. 

Pointy, sharp-edged, and almost transparent. 

As I sat in a church meeting with my precious eighteen-month-old daughter, I noticed this pesky eyelash standing like a thorn in the corner of her eye. Experience had taught me that if the little lash moved even the tiniest fraction of a centimeter, it would land in the sensitive area of her eye and cause real pain.

Resting in my arms with sleepy and trusting eyes, she allowed me to fish for the little lash. That stubborn, rotten lash seemed to evade my every attempt to remove it. 

It felt like an hour, but it probably only took five minutes for me to come out the victor. I was so proud of myself. I defeated the enemy and protected my sweet little one.  

I leaned over her, held out the little token of my love for her on my fingertip, and whispered, “Look what was in your eye.”

She focused all her attention on that itsybitsy lash of hers, and with a wave of indignation she snatched it from my finger and shoved it back in her eye. Into the same exact place I so painstakingly removed it from seconds before. 

No joke.

I look back on that day and laugh. I mean . . . what are the odds that a toddler could put her little challenge right back into the precarious spot it began?

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But then I think . . . how often do we do just that? How many times do we struggle with some sort of problem, while answers are all around us . . . yet we become offended at the truth and choose misery instead? 

Natural laws cannot be changed. They are simple truths. And we know dozens of them.

And yet . . .  

Even though we already know we need to eat more vegetables, decrease our sugar intake, and exercise to be healthy, we keep going back to quick-fix fad diets to lose weight.

And then . . .  

We have been taught to live on a budget and save money for a rainy day, but we still choose instant gratification, spending every last dollar garnished with a little bit of panic until our next paycheck comes. 

And even more . . . 

We know that “early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise,” but we consistently find reasons to keep our eyes open for just a few more minutes (and ultimately a few more hours) and wonder why we are dragging all day. 

It’s all just a little ridiculous. There have certainly been times I have looked at myself and my choices with the same sense of, “what the heck?” in my eyes as I viewed my daughter’s obstinate reaction so many years ago.

I know better. You know better. We all know better. And I believe we can do better

What proverbial eyelashes do you want to permanently remove from your eyes? 

As we fish them out . . . here’s something we might consider. Truth and Misery will come knocking at our doors on a daily basis. It’s part of our human experience. But when they do . . . we actually have a choice. What if we invite Truth in to unpack her bags and stay awhile, but leave Misery outside in the cold? It would just be better that way.

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But how do we invite Truth in? Especially when we’ve habitually entertained Misery for years?

I was chatting with my son-in-law this morning who essentially said this: “Truth leads you to your real purpose.” Let me tell you why I love this.

I had an “eyelash” stuck in my eye for decades. Rollercoaster weight. Or . . . we could call it  . . .  the Eyelash of Despair. Just sayin’. It was pretty awful.

Here’s the thing. The number on my bathroom scale went up twenty pounds and down twenty pounds almost every year since I was eleven years old. I chronically chose misery again and again. You and I talked earlier about the truths that surround a healthy weight. I’ve always known them. But, each year when I’d “had enough,” I chose a new extreme diet. 

I recently had a huge breakthrough, though. I invited Truth to live at my house. Hallelujah.

In other words . . . I considered my real purpose. My real purpose for wanting a lower number on the scale is my health. Honest. It isn’t to fit into a particular dress for a child’s wedding or to look socially acceptable at the swimming pool. (Though those are nice benefits.) What I want most is energy, endurance, flexibility, and to feel young enough to keep up with my adorable grandchildren. 

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As I have held this purpose . . . or truth . . . at the forefront of my mind, it has been so much easier to make good choices. To exercise, eat more vegetables, and lower my sugar intake. And though the numbers on the scale have lowered more slowly, this time they are decreasing for health.

So . . . when Truth and Misery demand that I choose between them, I ask questions like, 

“Is this really hunger?” 

“Do these French fries honor my body today?” 

“Do I even want a donut?”

“Is this a physical issue, or do I have an emotional need that could be met?” 

“What’s really going on here?”

Just an interesting side — I discovered a tendency I have to go for a snack when transitioning  from one activity to the next during the day. I’m not even hungry! I think I feel a little unbalanced when I’m unsure of my next step, so I eat something. Pretty useful information for sure. 

But let’s get back to the point. 

We want to get those prickly eyelashes out of our eyes? Right?

Here’s the deal. 

First, see the eyelash for what it is — a threat.

Next, clearly define what you really want — health; financial freedom; more energy from a good night’s sleep. Ask, “What is the real purpose of my goal?”

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Then, stay grounded in that Truth — setting up whatever reminders work best.

Finally, when Misery comes knocking again, see him for what he is, ask questions to invite Truth in, throw out the dang eyelash, and SLAM THE DOOR. 

For help removing those pesky lashes, ask yourself if you are ready to work with a personal coach. I’m here to help.

Do You Trust the Master Navigator? You Can Choose

Have you ever established a goal, set your course, taken steps toward completion, and then watched it take a wacky detour? Yah. Me too. 

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How did it turn out for you? How would you define the outcome . . . negative or positive? 

This happened to me recently. I was traveling two hours south for a business meeting, and I left early to be sure I arrived on time. I pulled up the GPS on my phone, typed in the exact address, and then I went along on my merry little way. 

In case you don’t know this about me . . . bad traffic has, at times, caused me some pretty intense anxiety. But I chose to entertain happy thoughts as I drove, listened to an uplifting podcast, and pressed forward. 

About an hour into the drive I received a loud notification that said, “Slow-down ahead. Your arrival time will be delayed 13 minutes.”

I thought, “That’s okay. It’ll be fine. I’ll choose to be calm and cheerful, and I’ve allowed enough time for unexpected delays.”

A couple minutes later, not yet having hit the traffic, a new notification went off. “Slow-down ahead. There is an alternate route that will save you 16 minutes. If you want to stay on your current route, press “dismiss”.

I may or may not have panicked for a few seconds. 

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I think we’ve all learned that change can be hard. I was already familiar with the route I was currently pursuing and was comfortable there. I reminded myself that I had allotted extra time to be a little late, but I thought . . . what if the GPS is messed up? What if it directs me across some ridiculous, broken-up gravel road in the tulies somewhere? (That’s a story for another time.) My heart was racing, and I’m sure some wise-guy angel was playing the countdown Jeopardy song in my head. There was no time to waste. I had to decide. 

I clicked the “accept” button. 

I was re-routed to another freeway, onto a highway, and then miles down the road I merged back into my familiar path. I experienced zero slow-down during the entire trip. The GPS gave clear directions in a calm voice, and I arrived at my destination a full hour early. For real. 

Wow. What a ride. 

Because I arrived ahead of time, I took the opportunity to really ponder what had just happened. I saw a beautiful parallel for life. 

So here we go.

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We each have a goal. More than one, I hope. And in order to achieve our aspirations, we have to be very clear at the onset about our final destination. What do we want our dreams accomplished to look like? This would be like the exact address I typed into my GPS. 

The next step is to create a general plan to get there. Sometimes my GPS gives me a few different routes designed to get me to the same location. So, in our finite minds, we choose a plan that will move us in the right direction to obtain our desires. 

Here’s the cool thing. It’s important to know the general direction of our destination, but we do not have to know all the steps. I was only familiar with a part of my path. The rest was in the hands of my GPS to take those last steps to get me to the correct address. The same thing is true for our goals. We just need the next step in moving toward them, but when we make the effort to take the steps that we do know, we prepare ourselves to receive further direction. It’s kind of like a treasure hunt. One clue at a time? And who doesn’t love a treasure hunt? Everyone needs some adventure in their lives, right?

Now it’s time for us to start moving. On my trip, I drove in the direction of my destination. I could have used the frontage road, taken the freeway, or traveled awhile on State Street, but no matter which option I chose, I was still progressing toward my meeting. 

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This applies to goal setting as well. Because we may not know all the steps to finish it, we simply need to move toward our objective in the best way we know how. And we’ll get there. Eventually. 

As I traveled the long road, my GPS warned me of an upcoming slow-down. Isn’t it interesting that I had to make a choice? I could stay on my current path, enduring a snail’s pace for fifteen or more minutes, or I could trust my GPS to re-direct me without a decrease in speed. In that moment I took a chance, and my trip offered pleasant progression the whole time. 

The path to reach our goals provides the same kinds of opportunities. We can choose to stay tuned in to the “Master Navigator” (a.k.a. God or our Higher Power) to give us ideas, new steps to take, and alternate routes. We know in traffic, and also when we pursue our dreams, there may be speed traps, fatigue, accidents, distractions, traffic, and even angry drivers. But as we stay connected to the Master Navigator, He sees ahead, He knows what roadblocks we’ll hit, and He gives wise and inspired ideas to smooth out the journey. 

One more thing to consider — during my journey I was given the choice to stay on my current route, pressing “dismiss” or to accept the suggested change. 

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We will receive many thoughts and inspired ideas to encourage and support as we pursue our goals. In those moments, we, too, have a choice. Do we trust the Master Navigator enough to heed His wisdom and counsel? Even when it takes us out of our comfort zones into unfamiliar territory? Or do we play it “safe” and do what we’ve always done?

Accept? Or dismiss? We have a choice . . .  

(Jeopardy music echoing in the background.)

What will you choose?

If you are ready to make some greater goals and see them obtained, I’d be happy to help you see it through.