Practice makes perfect.
Really? I wonder who the first person was that said that? Can’t you picture a crabby old piano teacher from a hundred years ago looking for a claim to fame?
I’ve played the piano for years, and no matter how many times I practice, stage fright seems to play a pretty big part of the end result. Just sayin’.
Maybe there is some misunderstanding in the quote. I don’t know. But I do know that sometimes our practice, or consistent choices to try again, might take awhile before we see a positive effect. And that’s okay if our outcome is successful at some point. Right?
Here’s something to consider. Let’s say we’re cooking something. Maybe apple chips. Apples dry at a low, sustained temperature of about 150 degrees. We don’t expect them to be done after only ten minutes in the oven. Constant and even exposure to the heat reduces the moisture, and at long last our apples become apple chips. It may require a lengthy five to eight hours, but staying in the oven long enough is what satisfies the recipe.
This applies to our efforts to do better as well. We continue practicing with the hope that we’ll be better. The concern is that we don’t want to wait for tomorrow. We feel we are less than if we can’t do it correctly today.
I don’t know what your experience has been as a parent, a sibling, a roommate or a friend, but I have certainly fallen short of the Mother or Wife or Friend of the Year Award.
Unfortunately, I think it’s easy to obsess over all our imperfections and decide we are horrible. Horrible friends. Horrible mothers. Horrible to our own parents. Just horrible people.
But there is hope. Honest. It’s taken me almost three decades to discover this, but practice does make a difference.
Let me share a happy ending. Or at least a happy step along the way.
While my son-in-law was recently traveling, I won the grandma prize by having the opportunity to have my daughter and her children here for a full week. I did have to share them with my youngest two living at home, but still, I felt very spoiled. And . . . I had plenty of baby snuggles in between feedings.
In the middle of the week, though, things got pretty crazy. My two youngest children had school and were unavailable to play with the older grandkids. Deadlines were looming for me, and my focus was elsewhere. My daughter was lacking sleep from mid-night feedings, and neither of us were emotionally present for these precious little ones.
For no apparent or logical reason, a couple of my grandchildren moved into center stage with a loud, emotional, and unexpected meltdown. My daughter’s and my immediate efforts to stop it before the children became puddles on the floor were completely ineffective. The tasks in front of us were a priority, and the meltdowns were an unwelcome interruption.
In that moment a thought came.
“Stephanie. Set down the fire you’re trying to put out. It will wait. Just hold them.”
Trying to muster enough faith to set aside my project, I gathered up two of the Littles on my lap.
Don’t laugh, but I honestly thought, “Now what?”
As I awaited inspiration, we just quietly cuddled.
After a few moments of just loving them, an idea came.
Read to them.
They’re pretty young for a chapter book, but I pulled out Farmer Boy, and within the first two pages I was holding two very different children. They were interacting and asking questions and even . . . smiling. Peace had returned.
After two engaging chapters, they were ready and willing to eat lunch and take their naps.
This experience has caused me to reflect. Sadly, over the years, there were countless tasks that I allowed to trump full engagement with my children. I did my best, though my best wasn’t perfect. Far from it.
I then I asked myself, “How would a perfect parent nurture? The perfect Parent?
When I pray . . . God drops everything for me. It doesn’t matter what His deadlines are — He puts it all down. In spite of all the things He does to keep the world in orbit, He puts me first. This speaks volumes to me of His love.
I want to be like Him. And it may have taken almost thirty years, but this time I finally did it right.
We do not have to do it perfectly today. It is a process. And we get points for trying. Every day, no matter what we are trying to do perfectly, practice takes us another step toward doing it right. Each and every effort we make shapes us and prepares us to do better the next time.
What things do you want to do better?
You can do it. Don’t you quit. Keep practicing. Again and again. With God by our side, we will see progress, and we might just do it right. Eventually.
Would you like some help in your practice of doing it better? I’d love to help you set your goals.